DDoS_DHO
The mission of the DDoS_DHO (daemon hacker organization) is to inspire a powerful solidarity network and fight for the denial of secrets. We will raise funds to help with our legal and hosting fees and promise to never use any of the money for bullshit self-congratulatory campaigns to increase public awareness about our members because we are not power-hungry narcissists.
We, the cypherpunks, are rallying to the cause of fellow cypherpunks in distress (those who want more leaks but can’t find them anywhere ☹).
“I shit on all the revolutionary vanguards of this planet.”
Background
The DDoS_DHO (dada heckling organism) is dedicated to taking the piss out of pompous grifters and frauds…
… while also raising money to support the leaking of socially relevant information.
The DHO started to mobilize in a group chat on February 7th, 2022, the day that was a Monday (we think, we’re not so sure). Some of us were in our various homes around the world, and one brave soul cried out into the technological void that was the channel #angery-dome “but what if DAO but DDoSified and absurd?” Thusly was born the DDoS_DHO (dank heckin’ otomaton).
Shortly after the channel #DaDAOism was formed, some of us took to streets to get into scraps with the nazis who were marching and also run from the cops who were protecting the nazis. But that’s another story. After that, we promptly went to bed for a good night’s sleep so our brains would be rested for the work to come. Then, and only then, were we ready to start writing this here manifesto for your entertainment.
Inspired by a certain organization who constantly centers itself as axis around which all press freedom rotates that used a (allegedly) decentralized p2p remuneration system to promptly centralize funds to itself thus bolstering its importance as it sinks into irrelevance, we decided to launch our own EFT (extremely fungible token). By galvanizing our network made up of ourselves, we hope to send a powerful signal that the time of passivity is over. A new era of cypherpunk organization has dawned.
No longer will we be shackled by the bonds of libertarian notions of exchange and property. All property is theft. Copyright isn’t real. Everything for everyone.
Mietschuldenfreiheitsbescheinigung Collection: DDoS x DDoS
Mietschuldenfreiheitsbescheinigung is an EFT (extra fuzzy teddy) collection in collaboration with DDoS and renowned data leaking platform DDoS that is set to be given away whenever we’re done taking a panoramic photograph of the metaverse on February 8th, 2022. The collection consists of a ∞/∞ static EFT (elegant femme tran) and a static open edition in which anyone is allowed to post their images to their own internet webular sites (this is a fundamental principle on which the internet was born).
Mietschuldenfreiheitsbescheinigung is a German word with West Frisian roots that translates literally to “the feeling of the first breath of spring after a long winter” but is used colloquially to mean “the sense of transparency after being misled.” Such a powerful feeling drove us to create a none-of-a-kind EFT (expropriated family tractor).
DDoS_DHO (dapper husky orthodontist) aims to raise your hands up in the air (like you just don’t care) to give away the ∞/∞ static EFT (eschatological futurist trust). The static EFT (echolocated forest troll) is printed using a printer which consists of paper and ink (you have to provide your own paper and ink, but we can give you the pixels) and will be given away on a very well designed website. Proceeds raised from the EFT (excrement file transfer) will benefit the DDoS member who has to pay for our hosting fees. Also we’d like to pay some of our members who make minimum wage at shitty day jobs, but that’s a stretch goal tbh. We aim to form a dedication to the community of hackers, leakers, and journalists that we will always fight for the liberation of all, not just the famous few.
How to Help
Contribute leaks to the DDoS_DHO (damn hefty orangutan) via Tor or Cwtch (or don’t, whatever suits you) to get access to our EFT (elongated fun tube). See “How it Works” below. The leaks will be used for the lulz to spread transparency as we pursue a more liberated world. (You can also send the DDoS_DHO [derelict heroes’ obituaries] pics of your pets. All pics of your pets will be considered. We will consider the heck out of them. Omg please send us pet pics.)
Have any ideas for what else we can do as a community to free and liberate data? Practice good OpSec and keep such ideas to yourself. Don’t talk about leaks you’re going to do or have done. Don’t make yourself famous. It’s how you get arrested. Be a nobody. Act on your conscious and let the feeling that you did the right thing warm you evermore.
Collaborate with each other and the DDoS_DHO (divine hairy outsider) in leaking the juiciest secrets. We will be happy if you leak anything and everything. Every leak matters. All collaborations are beautiful.
How it Works
The DHO (delirium-hating ostriches) is fully DDoS led (we didn’t have time to collaborate because we just threw it together, honestly). In absolutely no way following the footsteps of some other DAO pretending it’s part of the zeitgiest, we are not making you bid on a thing that we theoretically made for you in some convoluted scheme of trying to reward people in some “vanguard” for giving us money, nor are we making some weird threat(?) of withholding a JPG if you don’t raise enough funds.
There will be no tokens. This is not a DAO. We’re just a 501(c)3 non-profit trying to keep our servers running, and we’re trying to raise funds in the simplest way possible. Unlike DAOs, the DDoS_DHO (dark herring ossification) governance mechanism will not involve a Gnosis Safe multi-sig wallet with trusted individuals as the initial signers. Why not? Because we’re not trying to create the illusion of community involvement and consensus using esoteric mechanisms to hide majority rule or concentrated power. You don’t get to vote on how we’re using the money. We have just like… 3 expenses total, and it’s pretty obvious we’ll be using the money for that. Pretending you have a say in how we pay our bills would be just lying to your face. Here’s some random hex because nothing says “cypherpunk hacker” like 0x and some hex digits: 0x56306ce953c73455d24be5604dcc7bb0ceba60ee (try cracking for a fun surprise).
If you right-click and download our EFT (ermine fur tuft), you will be an equal share holder in “possession of some certain bytes.” Let the feeling wash over you. The bytes are yours. The bytes are everyone’s. Hallowed be thy ones and zeros. Ahm. Anyway. We could keep going on and on with techno-babble about hyperisotropic manifold functors, but once again, we’re not trying to obscure what’s going on here. Servers cost money. We have a lot of data which means a lot of servers. If some irrelevant has-been can raise millions, maybe we can raise a few thousand.
The DDoS_DHO (detrimental holistic oration) is to continue to live on regardless of what you do. DDoS is an idea. Deny secrets, with or without out our involvement.
But really. We aren't joking. Please donate to us.
DDoS_DHO Governance Proposal
You give us money, and we promise to spend it from our hosting company and our lawyers. We have other operating costs it may be used for too, but we will transparent about how we use the funds because we’re not opportunistic grifters riding off the fame we garnered while our sources were imprisoned. Also we don’t misgender people.